Cent

It was a cold day, and the bar was as lively as ever. My boss and I stood at the outermost of the bar as usual, ordered a margarita, and danced tango while waiting for the newcomer to arrive.

Not long after, the boss's nose began to sweat, and our newcomer arrived.

Centlan, this is the newcomer's name. The boss specifically reminded me on the way here to be careful not to call him by the wrong name.

Are you Centeno?

Damn, I still called him by the wrong name. The man in front of me had no holes under his eyebrows, which distracted me. The boss was panting and resting on the side, and couldn't stop me.

I am Centeno.

He agreed. My job is going to fail.

Bang! The boss took out a baseball bat from somewhere, and the man fell to the ground.

The boss and I dragged the man under the bar and groped his face like kneading dough. Soon after, the man had eyes, but as if it was an equivalent exchange, a bigger hole grew where the man's nose used to be.

Do you remember how you got here? The boss asked tentatively, while helping Centeno, no, Centlan to the low sofa beside him.

The sofa was very soft, and Centlan was wrapped in it like pork in a pie, slowly turning his head until his brain returned to where it should be.

I don't remember, I don't remember anything. Centlan suddenly hugged his head and screamed as if he had received some stimulation. The bar was empty in an instant.

Marcus! You! Hurry up and get some wine to stabilize him, just from the biggest mouth!

In the chaos, a bottle of wine appeared in his hand, and he quickly inserted it in like changing water in a water dispenser, and the music in the bar became soothing again.

Do you remember how you got here?

I remember that I fell off a cliff while walking at night, and then I was brought here.

That's right! You are dead! The boss's face regained color. Although this expression was obviously full of gloating for a newcomer who had just died.

Shouldn't the dead go to hell or something? Why a bar?

That's right! This is hell, and hell is a big bar. All the souls will come here, and then we will drink from morning to night, although there is no time and no fatigue here. When you drink the hundredth bottle and your stomach is about to burst, we will take you to the next scene. I'm Lais, this is Marcus, I'm the manager of the bar, and I welcome you here.

A bar without alcohol is like hell without fire, it is incomplete. There are no alcohol allergies here, only unlimited bloody marys and bottle openers, and endless stories.

A man and his wife were walking on the street one night. It was a warm night, and they were both a little drunk, so they started to undress each other on the street until, when the wife tried to take off the man's shirt, her necklace was caught on the label of the clothes, and then the man was shot dead. Later, the police watched the surveillance footage and found that the monster head on the man's clothes was stuck on his head at the time, and an old lady in the villa next door mistook it for a monster trying to attack a woman, so she shot the man on the balcony.

How about this story? The boss told Centlan the story he had heard before while wiping the wine glass.

Is the man here now?

No, this report is fake. It became like this due to bad influences and urban legends. The truth is that the man was drunk and took an overdose of cocaine and fell into a coma, but his wife strangled the man with clothes. The old lady's gun was actually a fake one she bought in a second-hand store.. People who are murdered will not come to the bar, and people who are strangled will not come here, because even lubricant cannot be poured into their throats.

A mother and her child went to the amusement park. The child disappeared after getting into the slide. The mother found the administrator and closed the entire amusement park to look for him, but she didn't find him in the end. It caused a lot of controversy at the time, and the amusement park closed down soon after. More than a decade later, the amusement park was demolished, and a child's skeleton was found under the floor of the amusement park. It was inferred that there was a secret door in the middle of the slide that led to the inside of the slide, and no one knew that the child might have accidentally triggered the secret door and was trapped inside.

How about this story? The boss wiped the wine glass and told Centlan the story he had heard before.

How could a child enter the bar?

That's right, he was not here either.

A monkey was accused of stealing a truck full of bananas from a banana company because the truck disappeared during transportation a few days ago and was finally found on the outskirts of the city, with only a monkey skeleton in the cab. The court did not accept the banana company's accusation because the dead are inviolable. But folklorists firmly believe that the monkey attacked the driver and stole the truck because there were monkey fingerprints on the steering wheel. But the mainstream view is that the driver abandoned the truck in revenge for all the company's malice, and there are different opinions about the monkey. It was not until many years later that the driver at the time explained in an anonymous forum that he deliberately trapped the monkey in the cab because he did not want to bear the compensation for scratching the cab seat.

How about this story? The boss wiped his wine glass while telling Centlan the story he had heard earlier.

Animals… There are no snakes here, right?

Bananas are said to have half the same genes as humans, so dogs and bananas are prohibited here.

A woman was found dead in the city's power plant days after she posted a post that heated the atmosphere of the Internet. The details of her death are both memorable and puzzling. When her body was found in the old power plant, it was obvious that she had been there for several days. The sprawling complex of concrete and steel is a desolate place, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. A utility worker found the body while checking the area for potential hazards. The worker noticed a strange smell coming from the dilapidated building and went to check it out, only to find Mara's body lying near a rusted control panel in a nearly inaccessible part of the plant. She was found in a state of decomposition, indicating that she had been dead for several days. The condition of her body indicated that she had been there for at least a week. The place where she was found was remote and not easily visible from the main part of the plant. The initial autopsy report is inconclusive. There were no signs of trauma or bodily harm, and her cause of death was ruled undetermined. Toxicology tests did not show any traces of drugs or alcohol. The lack of solid evidence has led to widespread speculation. Some speculated that she might have escaped the torture of the digital world and sought a last escape from the hustle and bustle of the modern world.

How about this story? The boss told Centlan the story he had heard before while wiping his wine glass.

She must be here, right?

No, but it's not your fault. This death experience was a complete hoax, and ironically, this article was generated by AI. In reality, she still lives a completely unaware life, unaware that the network she hates most has secretly murdered her.

I don't understand why you tell me these stories? Centlan asked in confusion. He had drunk a lot of wine, some of which flowed out of the big hole in his nose and wet his shirt. But the effect of alcohol was more than he could handle, making him lose the intuition of his lower body.

These stories do seem to have nothing in common: men, children, monkeys, and cyber people, but the only thing in common is that they all couldn't come here for some reason. In fact, we have seen too many such accidents. Seeing that there are fewer and fewer people in the bar, I can't help but start to think about the future fate of mankind. There are too few natural and perfect deaths, and people's fate is inversely proportional to their desires. So for the future of the bar and mankind, I decided to ask for your opinion, because you are a rare person who died with happiness, and it is up to you to decide where mankind will go.

A man fell off a cliff while walking at night. Don't ask me why he walked to such a dangerous place. In short, he didn't die, but lost his memory. The next day he was found by a lady and taken to the police station. He didn't have any information to prove his identity, so he was released. The lady couldn't bear to see him alone, so she took him home. For a long time afterwards, he worked in the circus owned by the woman's husband, responsible for the management of props, but was fired soon after for reselling without authorization. He also worked as a truck driver. He had a best friend who often showed off his pets and complained about his salary. He likes to complain about his hatred for criminals and dissatisfaction with the government on anonymous websites. There is an anonymous ID that always sings against his comments, and he later reported him, and...

Centlan looked very bad when he heard this, and covered his ears as if he had guessed something.

What did you think of?

Are you still going to say that this person sells drugs and fake guns?

You guessed it too. The boss looked at me, who had been standing aside for a long time. Did you record it?

This is the evidence of your crime! The bar owner and hell are all fake. This is still the earth, we are here to arrest you, the drug dealer! You really confessed!

Centlan was quickly taken away by the police and shot three days later. I hope the place he went to is really a bar.

Sorry, Centeno

—— Centlan