How To Bribe Your Teacher, 102
Let's start off with The OYISter's very own Ms Jess! She is from Cincinnati, Ohio—a middle-sized city in the midwestern United States—and she teaches English Language and Literature to grades 8-10. I decided to ask her a variety of truly essential questions so as to determine some necessary facts.
First, off I asked the obvious question: If you could be any type of clothing item, what would you be? I must say I was quite amused by her response: she said that she would be a jaunty sailor hat, because, obviously. I mean duh, why didn't I think of that?
Now let's move on to the serious stuff: I took a risk in asking such a controversial topic, but I do think it paid off. I asked the simple question, Who would you rather be friends with, Tom or Jerry? Now I understand that by asking such a hard question I ran the risk of upsetting some people, but I must say I have to agree with her response. She said, "I'd much rather be friends with Jerry than Tom. He's sneaky and fun-loving and knows a lot of tricks. I could learn a lot from Jerry. Plus, he was originally named 'Jinx'! What's not to love?" Wow, that's some nice trivia, but I bet you didn't know that Tom and Jerry actually won seven Oscars! Source
And lastly, I asked the simple question of whether a hotdog is a sandwich. I'm not going to lie...I was shocked by her response. "A hotdog IS a type of sandwich. I have a very liberal definition of sandwich. Other sandwiches include saltines with hummus, shepherd's pie, raw oysters with a smudge of tabasco, and 7-11 potato salad with soft boiled eggs." Due to personal reasons, I have chosen not to respond to this.
Moving on, let's hear from Ms Nguyen, who claims to teach the greatest subject of all—mathematics. She is currently working with grades 7 & 8 math and grade 10 math extended students. She is from the United States and was born in the state of Oklahoma, spent most of her life in Kansas, and moved to California, where she taught for two years before she moved abroad. Once abroad, she taught for two years in China, and now teaches here in Japan!
I began with the simple inquiry of, what is your favorite temperature of milk? Her response was one I 100% agree with. "My favorite temperature of milk is ice cold, because things are better ice cold!" If anyone drinks warm milk than they are officially crazy.
I then moved on to a more strategic question, one that tackles both physical and mental strength. "Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?" Her reply was very thorough: I was not prepared. She said, "I don’t think I’d fight 100 duck sized horses. I would tame them, so that I could take them home as pets." Wow—that's A LOT of hay.
After such a challenging question I decided to finish off with a simple question. "If you could choose one song to play every time you walked into a room for the rest of your life, what song would you choose and why?" She said "I would choose something by the J-Pop group Perfume. They are one of my favorite bands!" OK pssst, guys, I think we know what we need to do...
And last but certainly not least, we have Mr Wright. He is from Southern California, and this is his first year in Japan and at OYIS. Before coming to Japan he was working in Shenzhen, China. He teaches grade 9 I&S and chemistry, and works in student support. He enjoys surfing and Japanese matcha parfaits. Who in their right mind doesn't... am I right?! He also said, "If I were a new addition to the crayon box, I would be Matcha green, because I like Matcha flavor." Whoa, Mr Wright REALLYYYY loves matcha.
I then made the decision to move on to a more thought-provoking inquiry: "If you had to choose, who would win in a fight: Big Bird or the Cookie Monster?" His answer was incredible—it truly opened my mind. He said, "If I had to bet, I would say Big Bird because the cookie monster is always so blue." Take a minute to let that sink in... I think he has solved it.
And lastly, I finished off with a concluding question, a dash of garnish if you will: "If someone made a movie about your life, who would you like to see play you in the lead role?" His reply stands on its own: "I would like to see Mr. Baier play the lead role because he's so handsome."
Thank you for coming, and goodnight.